Dearest Biker MC The Complete Series Box Set Page 61

  I liked the reputation. I hated it when people got close to me. That was one of the things I kept from happening when I was in the service, and something that I wondered contributed to my PTSD.

  When I tried therapy, the doctor told me that it was likely I felt a little too isolated when I was in the military. That might have been true, but I had joined right after my MC split. I wasn’t there to make friends, and I’d made that clear from the beginning.

  So, when I got the text from Spencer, I was thrilled to put down the pizza and head out to the bar. He was good at finding useful information – and there were times when that information came in the form of people. If there was someone he thought could help, I was eager to meet them.

  The bar was crowded, but Spencer wasn’t ever hard to find. He had the same badass, no nonsense attitude I myself possessed, but since he wasn’t struggling with sobriety, it radiated out of him even more than it did me.

  I was glad I wasn’t as drunk as I had been the last time he and I talked. I’d been nursing beers all day, but I really wanted to cut down if I was going to have April in the house. I liked to numb the pain, but I didn’t want her to feel like she couldn’t trust me to take care of her.

  God, I didn’t know what that woman did to me, but the effect she had on me was unreal. I wanted to please her. Impress her. There was far more to April than there had been with any other girl I’d brought under my roof. Sure, I wasn’t playing house with any of the other women I’d brought, but at the same time, they never could have gotten me to agree to the idea, either.

  Spencer was sitting with a kid at the end of the bar. I recognized the guy from a meeting we’d had the other day, but I couldn’t remember his name. He wore a Folded Flag vest and sat with a drink in his hand. He looked so much younger than Spencer, it was almost comical.

  Hell, he had to be close to Nathan’s age, but I’d come to think of Nathan as one of us, not a kid who just wanted to be part of the gang.

  “How’s it going?” I asked as I sat down.

  “Aaron, you remember Jinx?” Spencer said.

  “I do,” I lied. I remembered the face, not the name or anything about him. “I see you got your gear.”

  “Came in yesterday,” he said proudly. “Carl gave it to me himself. He was going to save it for the next meeting, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of getting it, you know?”

  I almost rolled my eyes. He sounded like he was barely old enough to be out of high school, let alone sitting in the bar drinking with us – in our MC gear.

  “What have you got for me?” I asked as I turned my attention to Spencer.

  “Turns out the kid here is really good at getting into things he shouldn’t” Spencer pointed with his thumb. “And he’s going to get into the other MC and see if he can figure out what’s going on.”

  “Dressed like that you aren’t going to get far,” I told him as I nodded toward his vest.

  “I’m not going to wear this,” he said. “I know how to blend in with the rest of the crowd, and if there’s something going on in there, and your friend really was murdered, then I’m going to figure out why, how, and who.”

  “Sure,” I ordered a drink.

  “Come on, Aaron, you’ve got to give the kid a chance. He knows what he’s doing. If he didn’t, then I would have laughed in his face when he told me he wanted to get inside.”

  “He came to you?” I asked in surprise.

  “I went to him to find out what I could about our options, and he straight up volunteered to get in for us. If you ask me, we should be grateful for the chance to have someone go,” Spencer said.

  The bartender handed me my drink, and I fell silent. He did have a point. Though I didn’t know Jinx well, Carl and Zach both seemed to like him, and now Spencer. I’d hoped Nathan would be the one to really lend a hand throughout all this – he was the one I trusted.

  The man had proven time and time again that he could hold his shit together under pressure, and he put the MC first. But then, that was before he was a family man. Now, he wouldn’t want to get into a situation like that just for the sake of it. He had other people to think about, and they meant more to him than the MC.

  Like it or not, I knew that was the case, and I was just going to have to deal.

  “You realize if you get caught you’re going to be killed,” I asked, turning to Jinx.

  “I understand that,” he said with a shrug. “But that’s what I signed up for when I joined, isn’t it?”

  I nodded. At least that was a good enough answer for me. The kid clearly had a death wish. It was in his eyes. The same pain that I myself held. Off course, I handled my pain through the bottle. He turned to his fists for comfort.

  “Okay then,” I said. “What’s the plan?”

  “Right now, I’m just going to get in. I’m going to make sure I’m in contact with one of you often, so you both know exactly what’s going on. We all know things can change on a dime,” he said. I nodded again. Maybe this kid knew what he was talking about after all.

  “Great,” I said. “When are you starting?”

  “Tomorrow,” he said. “I’m not sure how long it’s going to take to get in, but I’m going to express interest, create a new identity, and get the ball rolling.”

  Spencer tapped his hands on the counter. “It sounds to me like we’re all on the same page. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a hot woman in my bed I’m going to go home and fuck.”

  He walked away from the bar, and Jinx shook his head. “Lucky. Brooke is hot as hell.”

  I almost asked if he thought she was too old for him, but I kept my mouth shut. I liked Brooke, but April was the one on my mind right now. I wanted to head out, too. I wanted to hang out with her. Though, for the life of me, I wasn’t sure why.

  “Hey!” Jinx said suddenly. “Check out those babes!”

  He nodded toward the other side of the bar, where two girls were talking and laughing with each other, but kept looking over in our direction. “Want to see if we can bag them?”

  I chuckled. This kid was a lot more like me than I originally thought, and I might actually grow to like him if he survived this whole thing. Normally, I would have been all over the plan to see if we could get a girl to go with us, but once again, it was April I wanted.

  We hadn’t talked about what it meant for us to be together. Sure, on paper we would be married, but we hadn’t talked about whether that meant neither of us could bring home another person. I’d briefly wondered that afternoon if it was going to be an issue for either of us, but right now, with the option right in front of me, I’d had a change of heart.

  I didn’t want to take either of those women home. I wanted to hang out with April. I wanted to fuck April. Everything I had in me wanted to be with her, and only her. It was a strange feeling, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

  “You go ahead,” I said as I finished my drink. “I’ve already got a girl at home, too.”

  “Damn,” Jinx shook his head. “Evidently chinks dig MC guys.”

  I laughed. “Stick around long enough, and you aren’t going to be able to get rid of them.”

  He grinned, looking a little more excited than I thought, and I paid for my drink. After bidding him goodnight, I headed home, April being the only one on my mind. Hell, I had agreed to this whole thing selfishly. I wanted to figure out what happened to Tim, then take care of the asshole who murdered him.

  It was a bonus that I’d get to take care of his sister, too, but I didn’t know it was going to be like this. I hardly thought about Tim at all on the drive home. I just wanted April. For the first time in my life, I didn’t even give another woman a second glance at the bar, and that in itself was shocking.

  I wasn’t sure what I was going to find when I got back to the house. With a kid around, I had a feeling I’d have to be quiet. Babies went to bed early, or so I assumed. I really didn’t know much about them, and I was sure April wouldn’t be thrilled if I were to walk
through the door and wake up the kid, especially if she just managed to get her to fall asleep.

  I walked into the hall and headed for my room, suddenly surprised to see April walking out of the shower. She had a towel wrapped around her body, her wet hair hanging around her shoulders. The towel wasn’t very big, and left very little to the imagination. Immediately, I was hard as a rock, and I wanted to fuck her more than anything.

  She said nothing as she moved to walk past me in the hall, but I put my arm out, blocking her path. She looked annoyed, but unafraid by my boldness.

  I reached with my free hand and brushed the wet hair back behind her ear. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

  “You’re drunk,” she said tartly. She started to move around me, but I put my other arm against the wall, blocking her in once more.

  “I might be, but even a drunk man can see how gorgeous you are. You’re an angel, April, and you always have been,” I said. She looked down, not saying a word. It was hard to read her body language, but she wasn’t telling me to stop or trying to get away from me, so I continued.

  “You know, I used to have a thing for you, back when we were younger. I wanted to ask you out, but your brother was so adamant against it, he’d often tell me if I were to try anything with you he’d cut my balls off,” I chuckled. She looked up at me with wide eyes as she spoke, and I could see she wanted to say something.

  But, she chose not to. The expression was brief, as though a new surge of resolution ran through her as she turned back to me. “Our marriage is going to be fake, Aaron. Just on paper so I can keep my daughter.”

  I grinned. “I don’t do anything halfway, April. If you are going to have my name, then I’m going to have you.”

  With that, I didn’t say another word, I just leaned forward and kissed her.

  11

  April

  A thousand emotions ran through me as our lips met. My first instinct was to push him away, telling him he was drunk and to leave me alone. My other instinct was shock. He was being so high handed. I hadn’t even been in the house for twenty-four hours and he was already asking me for sex. Not just asking, telling me that it was going to be part of the deal.

  I should have known better. As I thought back over the favor I’d asked of him. I wanted to be his wife so I could keep my daughter. I wanted to move into the house, take his name, and act as though he was my husband. Sure, it was just going to be temporary, but I’d never offered what he would get in returned.

  I didn’t have the money to pay him, and I didn’t know if just the knowledge and vengeance of Tim would be enough to put him through us being in the house. Hell, for all I knew, this could take a while. I wanted it to be a cut and dry, in and out of the courthouse sort of situation, but the fact of the matter was that custody battles could wage for months, if not years.

  I had to be prepared to go through with this for that long, and if I was going to ask Aaron to do the same thing, then he was going to have to get benefits out of the relationship as well. Hell, of course it would only make sense if we were going to be married, then sex was going to be a thing.

  Though I once again wondered if I’d made a mistake, all the fears melted out of me as his lips moved over mine. He caught me off guard when he told me there had been a time in his life when he had a thing for me.

  Hell, I thought it was so. He had flirted with me, hit on me, and I was sure he would have asked me out – but for Tim. Then again, at the time I knew he had a reputation for being a lady’s man. He knew what to say and how to say it to get what he wanted, and it often worked.

  I didn’t want to be just another girl in a long string of women, but I couldn’t deny that I had had a crush on him back in the day, too. There were so many times when I touched myself, thinking about him and what he’d do to me. I would have slept with him in an instant, if Tim had just gotten out of the way.

  But, all these fears flew from my mind in an instant. As he kissed me, I melted. He was the best kisser I’d ever experienced, sending me to the moon with his lips alone. I couldn’t get enough of him already, and it wasn’t long before passion started to grow right there in the hall.

  I was surprised with myself at how willing I was to have sex with him. I’d not really considered it before, and I didn’t know how to take it when he brought it up to me now. But, as he ran his hand over my body, yanking the towel down and letting it fall to the floor, I knew I could live with it.

  I would likely come to expect it more than he asked. I wanted him, more than even I had realized before his hands were on my tits, running up my stomach and over my curves. I gasped, his touch sending electricity through the core of my being.

  Leaning forward, I put my arms around him. My curves, my body pressed firmly against his hard, solid frame. I could feel through his jeans he was just as aroused as I, but it was his muscles that were really getting my attention. His pecs were strong, his core tight.

  I didn’t have to see under his shirt to know he had to be ripped. Though he had been drinking a lot, and I assumed that it had been a habit that had lasted a while now, he was still in perfect shape. There was nothing about him that was soft or needed attention, and I was proud that I’d taken care of myself after giving birth as well.

  There wasn’t a thing about my own body that left me feeling insecure, and considering the gasp he made when he pulled the towel free, I knew he was impressed. The feeling put me on top of the world. I was powerful. He desired me – more than Hanson ever showed.

  I didn’t want to compare the two of them, but it was hard. I thought Hanson was the one I would forever have turned on this way, but Aaron showed a much greater appreciation for me – for every aspect of me. My stretch marks didn’t bother him, my stomach that wasn’t as tight as it had once been didn’t, either.

  He wanted me, and with that want grew a greater need in myself. I had to have him. I didn’t care what I was doing anymore. As long as I had him deep inside me, I knew I’d be satisfied again.

  I was just about to jump up and wrap my legs around his waist when I suddenly came to my senses. It wasn’t anything he did, and it wasn’t anything I’d changed my mind about.

  It was the sound of Sabrina crying in the spare room. She had been asleep when I went to take a shower, and she’d clearly woken now. She was my priority, and it didn’t matter what I wanted for myself. I had to take care of her first and foremost and that meant I couldn’t stay.

  We suddenly stopped kissing, and Aaron moved his arm so I could get my towel and dash to my room. My feet padded along the carpeting, and I quickly dove around the corner, closing the door and locking it behind me. My heart was thudding in my chest as I thought about what had just happened.

  But, the crying in the crib kept me going, and I quickly grabbed panties and a t-shirt before going to pick up and tend to my daughter.

  She just needed to be held for a moment until she went back to sleep. She’d eaten dinner right before I put her down, so I knew she wasn’t hungry. It was likely the noise in the hall that had stirred her to begin with. Back home, she had grown used to the noise of the neighbors fucking right next door, or the sound of the loud traffic as it drove by.

  With time, she slept through it all. She was going to have to get used to the sound of another person being in the house now, too. Though, from the silence out in the hall, I had a feeling Aaron had either gone to bed, or he was doing his best to be quiet out there.

  Which I appreciated.

  After Sabrina went back to sleep, I laid her back in the crib and climbed into bed myself. My heart was still pounding from the experience I’d just had with Aaron in the hall. It wasn’t the fact that he’d asked for sex, or that he’d been so forthcoming with his need for it that got to me. It was the fact that I wanted him.

  Hell, I didn’t even know how badly I wanted him before. But, with the interaction we’d had, I knew there was no denying the fact. There was a part of me – a small part – that was almost willing to
go back to his room and finish what we started, but I decided not to.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling of shame that had settled into my chest. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I also wondered if I was giving off the impression I was selling myself for sex. I never wanted him to think I was easy, and since I had a daughter and wasn’t married, I wondered what he did think of me.

  He had slept with a lot of women himself, but I knew men didn’t view sex the same way women did. Perhaps he would think he could do that and I couldn’t. Perhaps he thought it was okay as long as you managed to not get pregnant. I just didn’t know, and I didn’t know how to bring it up to him, either.

  Is that even something you’d want to bring up? I mean, he’s going to be your husband on paper, and that’s it. There’s not going to be anything else to it than that.

  If you want to have sex with him while this lasts, then you should. Not only is it going to keep you from having to deal with the girls he brings home from the bar, but you’re finally going to be satisfied regularly, too.

  Ever since my daughter had been born, sex was something that went out the window. I wanted it, but I was too busy taking care of her. I wasn’t going to just go out to the bar and find some guy to bring home. No, I was going to be the best mother this girl could ask for, and that meant putting my needs aside.

  It took me a long time to fall asleep that night. So many thoughts were running through my mind, I wasn’t sure what to do with any of them. But finally, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to clear all that had happened over the past two weeks away.

  Soon, blissful sleep claimed me, letting me get a few hours before Sabrina once again woke and I had to take care of her. She was my world, and all this was for her. Let things happen as they did, but I wasn’t going to let it dictate my life. I was going to be there for her, and her first.