Ryder Page 8
With a sudden surge of adrenaline rushing through me, I rose and headed toward the back deck. I knew I couldn’t get out of the house that way, but I needed fresh air.
I pushed through the door and onto the balcony, looking down the hill and shaking my head, wondering what would happen if I were to just jump and start running. I knew I wouldn’t make it far, but I wanted to give it a try.
I heard the door open and close behind me; I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Ryder. He was silent for a moment, letting me have the time to gather my thoughts before he started speaking.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Do I look like I’m okay?” I shot back.
“This is for your own good,” he said.
I sighed. First, I tried to reply, but the words refused to come out. I knew he had a point, but I didn’t want to admit that. I didn’t want to admit to any of this. I just wanted to go home, and Ryder knew it, too.
“It’s going to work out,” he tried again.
I shook my head. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do,” he said.
“No,” I shook my head again. “You don’t. You can’t.”
“I do,” he replied. “Because I’m the one who’s going to take care of you. And believe me, I don’t care what the reason behind it is. I know you and I belong together, and I’m going to maintain that. I’m going to take care of you, no matter what happens. You just have to trust me.”
He walked up to me, putting his hand on my shoulder and looking into my eyes. It was hard for me to hold his gaze without so many emotions flooding through me. I wanted to break down in tears. I wanted him to hold me. At the same time, I wanted to push him away and demand answers to all the questions that had been going through my head for so long.
I was so confused, so hurt, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I just didn’t know…
I sighed. I wanted to argue with him. But I couldn’t. He was right. I had to trust him. If I was going to get out of this. I had to just let go of my need to control and trust.
I had to trust him.
Chapter 14
Ryder
I’d been watching Taylor like a hawk. She wanted me. She wanted the affection I was giving her. She might be trying to pull back – trying to act as though it’s not what she wanted, but I knew the truth. I could see it in her eyes.
So, I took the opportunity to lean in and kiss her. At first, she was tense in my arms. But then, she relaxed. She accepted the kiss I was giving her, but then, she started kissing me in return. We were wrapped in each other’s arms, making the most of the moment, not letting a second slip by unappreciated.
She pulled back. There was a fresh look of determination in her face.
“I have an idea,” she said suddenly.
“What?”
“No, now it’s your turn to wait,” she said as she turned and headed back inside.
“Where are you going?” I asked. But, she didn’t answer. Instead, she walked right back to the table where the others were still talking about how we were going to sort this all out.
“I know how we can find my mother,” she said.
“Oh?” Jett raised an eyebrow, but the look on his face told me just how unamused he was.
“Yes,” Taylor said simply. “We’re going to use me.”
“What?” I gasped. It was the last thing I thought she would say, and I nearly cut her off before she could finish, but she didn’t want to listen to me. Instead, she pushed forward.
“Yes. We’re going to use me. I’m going to infiltrate my father’s MC, and I’m going to figure out where my mother is,” she said.
I looked at her like she had completely lost her mind. I wanted to laugh, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure how to respond. We were just talking about how we were going to keep her away from her father. Now, she wanted to go right into the thick of things and plant herself in the midst of them?
“And, how do you think that is going to work?” Jett asked. “Do you really think your father’s going to want to see you?”
“I think I’m his daughter, that’s what I think,” Taylor said with a toss of her hair. “And, I think he’s going to accept me as his daughter, no matter what. If I were to go back to him and tell him I want to be part of the MC, I know he’s going to let me in.”
“No women are allowed patches,” Roman chimed in, but Taylor merely gave him a look.
“Do you really think he’s going to turn me away completely? I mean, think about it. All he needs is for me to act as though I want to be part of the whole thing, then all he has to do is wait for me to fall in love with one of the men there. Or, so he thinks. He’ll let me in. He wants to have another generation that’s his own flesh and blood – trust me. I know him.”
The more she spoke, the more I wondered where her head was at. She had a point, that would be a good way to get her father to accept her back into the club, but if that was the angle she took to get back in, then how did she plan to get back out?
And, how was that going to help her find her mother.
As though he could read my mind, Jett chimed in.
“I appreciate the fact you want to be more proactive in your help, but I don’t think any reason you give your father to get back in the MC is going to make him tell you where your mother is. Think about it. You get stuck in the middle, and all of a sudden, we’ve got to figure out where your mom is and how to get you back out of there without you getting hurt or killed in the process. I admire your courage, I really do, but how the Hell is that part of keeping you safe, which is what we told your mother we were going to do?”
I nodded. “Jett has a point. There’s no chance in Hell you’re going to be able to get close enough to figure out where your mother is and still get out of there. Your father might welcome you back into the club, but I can promise you he’s not going to do it with open arms.”
“What do you mean?” Taylor turned to me.
I shrugged. “At best, you can probably hope for him to let you in on the secrets that aren’t going to mean he loses the one person he’s been hunting down for the past decade. I can tell you one thing: your dad’s not going to want you to know too much.”
“Well, I can at least learn the club. I can figure out where the weak spots are. I know you are always at war with each other. I can figure out where you can attack and do the most damage. If I can’t get where my mother is out of them, I might be able to get you the information you need to piece together where she is,” Taylor pleaded.
She looked at me for a moment. I wanted to keep arguing with her. I wanted her to believe me and forget about this whole thing. I knew she meant well, and just as Jett had said, there was a lot of respect for her wanting to be more proactive in the fight against her father. But, that didn’t change the fact we were dealing with very dangerous people.
And these people could very well turn on her in a heartbeat. The last thing I wanted to think of was the fact her father could turn on her and put a bullet in her head just as soon as he could anyone else. If he was after her mother for so long, he was a loose cannon as far as I was concerned.
I knew Bud was the kind of guy to shoot first and talk about it later. I didn’t even know if he would let his own daughter back into the club after what had gone down.
On the other hand, she did have the best chance of any of us to get close to him. After all, being his own flesh and blood might be enough to get him to think about it. And if she did get that foot in the door, that might be what we needed to track Katherine down.
As hard as it was for me to admit, it was a good idea overall. I just hated the idea of her going into that place.
“You realize you could be stuck in the middle of the hive when all Hell breaks loose, right?” Roman asked her.
Taylor nodded. “I grew up in the thick of that hive, I’m not afraid of a few bees,” she said with a shake of her head.
“You would be if those bees were going
to sting,” Jett said. “I just want you to know we might not be able to get in there and pull you out of a situation fast enough if things take a turn for the worse.”
“That’s why it’s not going to happen,” Taylor said with a smile. “I might not know my father very well, but I knew him well enough to survive him when I was a little girl. And, if I could do that then, I can do it now. I know if I go to him in the right way, he’s not going to be able to turn me away. That’s the one thing I can promise you about him.”
“I’m not going to tell you no,” Jett said. “But you have to understand there’s not going to be nearly the same protection for you if you go in.”
“That’s what I want,” Taylor insisted. “I don’t want you to protect me. I want you to work with me to get me out of here. I want my mother to get out of there, too. And if the only way to do that is for me to go in there and do it myself, then so be it. But, I’m not going to hide away like a scared little rabbit and wait for you all to take care of things for me again. I’ve been doing that for far too long, and I’m done with it.”
“Fair enough,” Jett said. “If that’s the case, let’s sit down and work this out. I want to make sure you go in there knowing what you’re getting yourself in to, and how to get yourself back out of it if things take that turn for the worse.”
Reluctantly, I sat down at the table with the rest of them. I knew there would be no talking Taylor out of this, but I couldn’t deny the pit that had formed in my stomach. I could see how many ways this could go wrong, and it made me ill.
I hated to think of her in that group with those men. I hated to think of what could happen to her if she did.
But, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop her. I had to just go along with the plan and hope for the best. Work with her and prepare her for what was coming, and finally put my own guard down and trust she could handle herself.
I hated every part of the plan, but I knew I didn’t have another choice. She was her own person, and though I knew I would take care of her no matter what, there were some things I just couldn’t control, and this was one of them.
She was going into the thick of the MC, and she was going to face those men alone. I hoped to God she was doing this for the right reasons, and she would keep her wits about her when she was in there with her father.
After all, if things were to take a turn, that would be the only chance we had. There wouldn’t be any going back, and I knew that would be a tough pill to swallow.
But, we had to push forward. It’s what we were meant to do.
It’s what we had to do.
It’s what the Steel Wings did.
Chapter 15
Taylor
“If all are in favor of this plan, let’s put it to a vote,” Jett said. He looked around the room at each of the men gathered before raising his hand. I refused to look behind me. I knew Ryder was back there, and I didn’t want to see which way he voted, if at all.
I knew he wanted to protect me. He made that obvious, but more than that, he wanted us to be together. Although deep down inside I knew I wanted the same thing, I didn’t want that to come into this moment. I wanted to pretend like it didn’t matter – like all that mattered was how to get my mother back.
From the faces I could see, everyone was on board with the plan, and though Jett didn’t say anything one way or the other whether anyone was against it, he closed the vote with a nod.
“Alright then. It’s a plan. But, we’re going to have to really talk about how we want to pull this off. I’m not going to send you in there without something in place, and we have to figure out how we’re going to handle that from our end, as well,” he said.
“Like, there’s not going to be coming in or going out of the safe house,” Roman said. “If you’re in that MC, they’re going to keep an eye on you, and what better way for them to figure out where we’ve been holing up than to follow you right back here?”
“That means she’s going to be out where she’s in the middle of danger,” Ryder said.
“She’s going to be under the protection of the MC,” Jett replied.
“As long as she’s with us!” Ryder challenged. “But what about when we’re not around?”
“Then she’s going to be in the middle of her father’s MC. If you think about it, that could be one of the other safest places for her to be right now. She’s not going to be in danger if they think she’s one of them,” Jett replied.
“As long as I can keep up the image I’m part of them, then they aren’t going to do anything to me,” I said. “I know my father’s a terrible man, but I can tell you, he’s not going to just hurt me for the sake of it.”
“My issue is your mother,” Ryder said.
“And, that’s why I’m going,” I cut him off. I knew what he was going to say next, and I didn’t have the time for it. I knew he didn’t want me to go into the MC. And, if I were perfectly honest with myself, I had to admit that I didn’t want to go in, either.
But, I had no choice. I had to save my mother, and if my father had her, then the only way I could do that was to go after her myself. I wasn’t afraid of my father. Well, not entirely. He scared me. His temper scared me. I hated being around him, but I felt confident I could handle him now.
I was a different person than I was ten years ago, and I could stand up to him if I had to. Hopefully, everything would go smoothly enough, so I wouldn’t have to. That’s what I really wanted. I wanted to just figure out where my mother was and get the Hell out of there.
But, only time would tell.
“She’ll go about her life as though none of this was happening,” Jett said coolly. “In fact, I want you to take her home, Ryder, tonight. Under the cover of dark. If we act now, before things get going, Death’s Door isn’t going to have any reason to pay any attention to what we’ve been up to. Let’s not give them any reason for that, shall we?”
I nodded. “I want to get home, anyway. There are a few things I’m going to do if I’m going to be part of that MC.”
“You’re never going to be part of them,” Ryder said with a shake of his head. “I don’t care who your father is or what you hope to accomplish. You’re not going to be part of that place!”
“Ryder!” Jett scolded. “Take her home. She knows what she’s doing, and I have to admit, I haven’t heard a better plan yet. Get her out of here, and let her do what she needs to do to get ready. I want you to stay in touch with us, Taylor, and let us know how things are going as much as possible.”
He turned his attention to me as he spoke, and I nodded. “I will. I don’t want this to take any longer than it absolutely has to. In and out. As soon as I figure out where my mother is, I’m going to tell you guys so we can get her out of there and I never have to deal with my father again.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Jett nodded. He closed the meeting, and Ryder gruffly motioned for me to follow him back out to the bike. I knew he was pissed off with how the meeting had gone, and he was pissed that he didn’t get any say in how I went about getting to my mother.
But, I knew I had made the right choice, and I wasn’t going to back down. I was confident in my plan, and I knew if there was a chance of getting to my mother, that was the best way to do it. It wasn’t going to be easy, there wasn’t any denying that, but it would be worth it.
I knew my mother loved me. I hated the fact she had vanished, but I knew she had done it because she thought it was what was best for me at the time. I didn’t understand why she never reached out to me, but there was a part of me that wanted to believe it really had been for the best.
If she had been willing to let go of so much for my sake, then I had to do the same for her. I had to prove to her I was there for her, no matter what. I wasn’t the same scared teenager I had been when she left.
I was strong. I was a woman, and I knew what I was doing.
And, I was coming for her. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I was coming.
> I had to.
I had to save her.
We pulled up in front of my apartment, and I slowly slid off the bike. I figured Ryder would speed off, but instead, he got off and followed me into the apartment.
“You don’t have to come with me to the door,” I told him. “I got it under control.”
“You don’t have to do this,” he replied.
“I do,” I told him. “For my mother.”
“No, you don’t,” he said again. “You’re mother’s fine for now. There has to be another way.”
“You know there isn’t,” I told him. “I’ve got to do this, or I might never see her again.”
“You might not get out of there alive if you do go,” he said softly.
“Ryder…” I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to tell him not to worry. I wanted to tell him I was fine. I wanted to tell him I was just as brave as he was. But, the words wouldn’t come. Instead, they got caught up in my throat, and I nearly choked on them. We were standing in my kitchen, and I looked helplessly around, trying to find a way to escape the intensity of the moment.
He put his hand to the side of my face, and I put my hand over his. Then, he put his other hand on my cheek, cupping my face in his palms. He leaned forward, kissing me with his eyes closed.
I closed my eyes, as well, kissing him in return.
As our lips met, a jolt ran through my body. I was electric, something a lot hotter than the other kiss we’d shared earlier that evening. It was something deeper, something fueled with the need to be together. Something that was stronger than anything I could resist.
I kissed back with a passion, my lips searching for his mouth, my body needing him. I couldn’t get enough of him. I had to have more of him.
Ryder put his arms around me, lifting me as he kissed me passionately. He held me for a moment, pulling me against his body so I could feel his entire being. He was hard as a rock, and immediately all the memories of the time we’d slept together came rushing back to me.