Dearest Biker MC The Complete Series Box Set Read online

  She’d already told me that day she was naked and waiting, and I wasn’t sure if that meant in her bed or elsewhere in the apartment. Either way, I’d been eager to find out.

  Walking into her apartment, I found her on the couch with a beer in her hand and two empty bottles on the floor. It seemed strange for her to be so buzzed on a Thursday, but I wasn’t judging. There had to be something else that was fueling this, and I intended to find out what it was.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “You made it,” she said with a smile as she looked up at me. “There’s beer. More in the fridge if you want something that’s cold.”

  “I’m okay for now,” I said as I sat down on the couch next to her. I still partly hoped she’d start tearing at my clothes so we could let out some of her stress through sex, but I was beginning to think that’s not what she needed from me tonight.

  There must be some other way she was looking for my comfort, but I wasn’t quite sure what it was. All I knew was that she needed me there.

  As soon as I sat down, she slid across the couch and leaned into me. Being moderately intoxicated as she was, she wasn’t as graceful as normal, but I didn’t mind. It felt good knowing that she trusted me enough to invite me over to her apartment when she was in that state of mind. She didn’t strike me as the kind of girl who would trust just anyone to come over like that.

  There was an old western movie playing on TV. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind, though that wasn’t at all the kind of entertainment I opted for myself. But, if that’s what she needed to feel better from whatever was bothering her, I wasn’t going to judge her for that, either.

  We all had our fixes. Vanessa must go for beer and westerns.

  “I’m sorry you had to drive so far to get here. I really should have been able to take care of this myself,” she said into my shoulder. “But I’m really, really glad you’re here.”

  “It’s okay. I was dying to see you, and I’ve got therapy in the morning, so I don’t have to be back to the diner so early. I am going to have to leave on the early side, though, so I can get there on time,” I said.

  She nodded, but didn’t reply. I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to tell her I wanted to know what was bothering her. Just like with Nathan, it wasn’t my job to play the part of counselor in her life. If she wanted to talk, then she’d tell me. Otherwise, it was just my job to be there.

  “Are you hungry? I thought about eating before I left, but I didn’t get the chance,” I suggested. “We could get a pizza or something. I get tired of burgers and chicken since that’s pretty much what we make at the diner.”

  Vanessa shook her head. “Maybe in a bit. Right now, I’m just thinking.”

  “I can see that,” I teased. “Hopefully, it’s nothing too heavy.”

  She fell silent once more as she took a long drink of her beer, and I started to wonder if her father had something to do with this. Maybe he had found out about us. Maybe he gave her some sort of ultimatum. Whatever it was, I just wanted her to tell me.

  Finally, I got my wish. I had just about given up on her opening up to me when she finished the beer that was in her hand and grabbed another, popping the top and taking a drink before speaking once more.

  “It’s this charity thing that’s coming up,” she said.

  “What about it?” I asked. I was surprised to hear it was that. It seemed like a good thing in my mind. “Are you going?”

  “Probably. My dad wants me to. And, it’s for the kids,” she said. She took another drink.

  “Then what’s wrong?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself now. We’d never talked about kids, but I got the impression she was the kind of person who would like them. She was outgoing and friendly with everyone, I figured kids would just be another thing she’d love.

  “My brother,” she said at last. “My twin brother, Vance. He’s invited, and I’m sure he’ll be there. He’s always been so perfect. Well, perfect enough. It’s weird. He doesn’t have a great relationship with my dad, and I can’t say that he and I have the best of relationships anymore. He’s so… I don’t know.”

  “You don’t want to see him, I take it,” I commented. I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t care for Vance. I’d never officially met him, but the things I’d heard about him, and seeing him from time to time only solidified in my mind the fact that I really didn’t want to have to talk to him.

  So far so good, but from the sounds of things, that could change.

  “I just don’t get why my father let him leave, get this fancy ass job in San Francisco, and keep him as part of the club, but treat me like I’m some sort of crazy psycho who needs to be kept under lock and key. He’s going to show up, flaunt his life in front of me, also act like I’m crazy, and it’s all just going to suck,” Vanessa said.

  “I can see how that’s stressful,” I said, unsure of how else to show my support. “But try not to let it get to you. Siblings suck, we all know that, and if he’s some hot shot from a bigger city than what you live in, it’s just that much worse. I’d ignore the whole thing if I were you.”

  “How can I just ignore it when he’s going to be here and we’re going to this charity ride? I mean, I feel bad. I know that it’s for a great cause and the guy who’s putting it on has no idea of the drama that’s in my family. But still. I just want him to not come,” she shook her head.

  “It’s tough. But from the sounds of things, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to be here long. If he’s just coming for the ride, won’t he leave after?”

  “Any amount of time is too much.” She drained the rest of the beer, and I felt sorry for her. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, carry her to bed, and fuck her brains out. I wanted to make her feel so good she didn’t care that her brother was going to be in town. But, I knew she didn’t need that right now, and I didn’t want her to think that was the only reason why I came over.

  “I think you should eat something,” I suggested. “Offset that beer a little and make you feel better in the morning. Trust me, your tomorrow self is going to thank you if you don’t drink that on an empty stomach.”

  Vanessa said nothing as I grabbed my phone and ordered a pizza, and I took care of paying for it and retrieving it from the person at the front door when it arrived. I got us both a slice and put the box on the coffee table in front of the couch, but even though she continued to talk about her brother and how she didn’t know what to do, I noticed she didn’t eat anything.

  It was rather concerning, especially since she was drinking, but I couldn’t force her. I sighed, settling into the couch and just letting her ramble. As long as I was there, I could make sure she was okay. But, it concerned me to think that I had to leave in the morning, and she would still be here.

  Eventually, Vanessa put her head on my shoulder, the alcohol taking over as she passed out. She slept soundly against me, and I gently eased her downward to climb behind her on the couch, spooning her as I watched the movie from over the top of her head.

  I had planned to spend most of the night, and I didn’t mind that we were on the couch together. I was glad she’d opened up to me about what was bothering her, though it did make me feel guilty about the secret I was hiding. I still didn’t feel ready to tell her about that tattoo, and I was glad she hadn’t brought it up again.

  I set my alarm before I started to drift off. I’d have to be out of there before the sun was up to head back home. I’d need to shower and get ready for therapy, and I didn’t want to be late. I’d wake her up before I left, making sure she was okay for the day.

  It wasn’t going to be easy to leave her, but I knew this wasn’t something I could fix. She had to deal with her own family issues without me. I could support her, but there wasn’t anything I could say that would fix it for her or make them leave her alone.

  I hated feeling powerless, and that was exactly what this situation was doing to me. This was Vanessa’s problem and something she’d have to figure out.

  And, it made m
e really worried about her.

  16

  Vanessa

  I wiped down the handlebars on my bike, trying not to think too much. I was at my father’s house with Lynne, cleaning my bike and getting it ready for the charity ride. I kept it stored in my father’s garage. I really didn’t care to ride it any more than I had to, which had eventually meant to just things like this.

  But, since I told my dad I would go with him on the charity ride, I had to get it cleaned and ready for the event. Vance was set to come in later that afternoon, and I really wanted to get the bike done before he got there. He had taken his bike with him when he left, but I figured that would be what he rode when he came up here to meet us.

  I tried not to care. Zach had seemed pretty insistent on just focusing on the fact this was going to be a one-time event, then he would leave and things could go back to normal for us. He was right. I just had to get through the event, then my brother would be gone and I could go back to hiding in another town.

  Lynne was sitting in the back of my dad’s truck. We left the tailgate down and put the bucket of soap and water on the back. She had a beer in one hand, and was messing around with her phone while she talked to me. But then, she got a mischievous look on her face as she grabbed my phone from beside the bucket of water.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked as she pointed it at me.

  “Filming you,” she said with a grin. “You look like such a little bad girl over there with your hands all over that bike. Think what you-know-who will do when he sees this!”

  She laughed and held the phone out of the way as I lunged for it. I didn’t want her to send any messages to Zach, and though I didn’t think she really would, I didn’t want to risk it. She didn’t need to see what we said to each other, that was for damn sure.

  But suddenly, everything went black. I couldn’t see, and I felt lightheaded. The ground seemed to spin out from beneath me as my legs quit working. I heard Lynne scream my name, but she sounded far away. I was falling backward, but I was completely unconscious before my head hit the pavement.

  I slowly opened my eyes. The sound of the heartrate monitor was the first thing I recognized, then the smell of being in a hospital room. I was lying down, my back and head propped up with the incline of the bed, and there was a bandage around my forehead, covering where I’d smacked my head on the pavement. I had a splitting headache, I felt incredibly weak, and there was a jabbing pain in my arm where the IV was dripping fluids.

  I didn’t even have to open my eyes to guess what had happened. But, I knew I had to face the music sooner or later, and the longer I laid here with my eyes closed, the worse it was going to be when I finally opened them.

  At last, I forced myself to flutter the lids open, glancing around the room. I wasn’t surprised to see my father and Lynne sitting on opposite sides of the bed. Vance was walking back and forth, his hands in his pockets. They all looked worried, and they rushed forward when they saw that I was waking.

  “Vanessa? Baby? Are you okay?” My father had his hand over mine, and I could hear the fear in his voice. Of course, this wasn’t going to help my insistence that I was fine or that I didn’t need to move back home. He was badgering me with questions, but I was still trying to find my voice.

  My throat felt dry, and I was sick to my stomach. I wasn’t sure if it was the nerves I felt for being in the hospital again, or if it had something to do with the IV. Hell, I hadn’t eaten anything in four days. I’d had an energy drink a couple of times, plus beer, but that was about it. As far as any real food went, I had avoided it.

  Even when Zach was trying to get me to eat something.

  I looked around the room. Vance said nothing as he stood at the end of my bed, his hands in his pockets. He looked worried, which surprised me. We hadn’t been anything remotely like friends since the day he left, not even the fact that we were twins was enough to keep him around, and I had never fully forgiven him for it.

  Hell, there was a part of me that even blamed him for not being there for me the last time things got bad. It was far easier for him to abandon me and head off to his fancy new life in San Francisco. That was part of the reason I didn’t want him to come back, part of what I couldn’t bring myself to tell Zach when he was asking about my stress.

  “Alright, everyone, I hear that the patient is awake. Can I ask you to give us a few minutes so I can ask her some questions?” A nurse suddenly appeared, pushing her way through the faces crowding around me.

  “Can I just make sure she’s alright?” my father asked, looking over his shoulder and clearly worried. But the nurse only gave him a reassuring smile as she put her hands on his shoulders.

  “That’s what I’m here for. Just take a step outside the door, and I’ll call you back in as soon as we get some information out of her. She’s going to be just fine, I can assure you,” she said. “Please, the sooner I can talk to her, the sooner you can come back in.”

  Reluctantly, the three of them left, and the nurse turned her attention to me. I knew what was coming, and I braced myself for it. Not only did she ask me extensive questions about my eating habits, but she also asked about my mental health.

  The two things now went hand-in-hand. Before, it was just something people accused me of doing for vanity. Others thought that I didn’t eat because I was afraid of gaining weight. Others just thought that I was playing games. But, I knew the real problem was that I didn’t feel like I had any control in my life, and by refusing to eat, I was showing the world – and myself – that I did have something to control.

  I was exhausted by the time the nurse was done. I didn’t want to talk to my father, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. When she asked if he could come back in, I just nodded. I knew what he was going to say, and I didn’t have any real answers for him.

  I was relieved to see that he was alone when he returned and sat down. I wasn’t sure where Lynne or my brother had gone, but I didn’t want to talk to either one of them right now, either. I braced myself for the lecture I was sure was coming, but to my surprise, he said nothing.

  He took my hand and just sat there, staring down at the IV dripping vitamins and minerals into my arms, a look of utter disappointment on his face. I never saw him look like that when he was talking to or about my brother, even though I knew they didn’t have the best relationship.

  The old feeling of being a failure returned, and I sighed. I hated feeling like the loser between me and my brother. But wasn’t I?

  Finally, Dad spoke. “I’m going to be looking into rehab for you.”

  “I don’t need to go to rehab,” I said. “I’m fine.”

  “You passed out from lack of nutrients. When is the last time you ate anything?” he asked.

  I felt myself growing defensive. I wanted to tell him to get out of my room and leave me alone. But, I said nothing. It was none of his business when the last time I ate was. I didn’t ask about his eating habits, so I didn’t need to tell him about mine.

  “You are going to kill yourself if you let that disease take over again,” he warned. “Last time, you almost died. It’s a miracle you didn’t!”

  “I gained weight! Look at me! Last time, I was skin and bones, this time you can see that I have curves! I’m a healthy weight!” I argued. I knew it didn’t matter. My body wasn’t able to sustain me no matter what I weighed when I did that to myself. I had to eat real food, or I risked having something bad happen.

  I knew I was lucky. I had only passed out. Hell, it could have been a lot worse. Even young women had heart attacks when they didn’t take care of themselves, and it was no secret that I wasn’t taking care of myself. It didn’t matter what I had been doing up until last week. Letting anorexia take control was a rapid path to me dying.

  And, I knew it.

  “You know that doesn’t matter. There is more to this than you just not eating. You are not going to starve yourself down to nothing again. I’m not going to stand by and watch it ha
ppen. You’re already passing out, what do you think is going to happen if you keep going like this? You will die!” My father’s voice was growing louder, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before the nurse stepped in and asked him to leave.

  They weren’t going to allow him to talk to me like this in the condition I was in, and I was glad for it. I closed my eyes and pretended to be resting as the nurse walked in.

  “Sir, I think it’s time that we give the patient rest. She needs to recover, then we can talk about next steps,” she said.

  “You bet your ass we’re going to talk about next steps,” he growled as he rose from his seat. He was clearly pissed, but he wasn’t going to make a bigger scene. I didn’t want to talk about it, and I wasn’t going to respond. I had the nurse on my side right now, and I was going to make the most of it.

  But as he left, I felt a wave of worry wash over me. He was right. I had to get this under control or something bad was going to happen, and I didn’t want to go through rehab again.

  I didn’t want to go through any of the pain of this eating disorder again. I just wanted to be better.

  I wanted Zach.

  17

  Zach

  “Well, isn’t that just charitable of us all?” Aaron said as he rolled his eyes. Neither he nor Nathan were fans of charities or children, and they really hated it when my father made us all partake in things like this. But, it was part of the membership with the MC, and if they were going to be members, they were going to have to pull their weight.

  “It’s not that bad. You show up, you ride your bike, you be a badass, and you go home. And, you get all kinds of brownie points with my father for doing it,” I said with a shrug. “Sounds like a win/win to me.”

  “Yeah, because it’s your dad,” he rolled his eyes. I was going to argue that he could rise pretty high in the club if he had a better attitude about this sort of thing, but I was interrupted with a text from Vanessa. I hadn’t heard from her since the day before, and I was starting to wonder what she was doing.