Dearest Biker MC The Complete Series Box Set Read online

  If he could, he didn’t let me know as he took my hand and stroked it. “I think you should spend your time finding the right place for you to go. Don’t just think about the places around your house. If we need to get you in some place better, we can.”

  “I don’t want to go away,” I told him.

  “Understandable, but if it’s for your greater good,” he argued. “I would still be here for you through it all, and I’ll be here for you when you get back out.”

  I wanted to cry, but before I had the chance to wrap my arms around him, there was another knock at the door.

  “Come in!” Zach shouted.

  He got off the bed and headed for the front door, but I couldn’t help but tense as he did. I had no idea who might come through the door when I was in this town, and I didn’t want to let my imagination get the best of me.

  “What the fuck, dude?” a voice said as it came into the room. A man whom I thought I’d seen before walked in. He stared at me for a moment, but then he turned back to Zach. I was trying to place him. The face seemed familiar, but I hadn’t been around Zach enough to know all the people he called his associates.

  “We need to talk,” he said. “Your dad is beyond pissed that you weren’t at the ride today.”

  “I’m so sorry about that,” I said, cutting in, but Zach held up his hand to stop me. This wasn’t a conversation I was supposed to be part of. This was his associate, and I should let it go.

  “I talked to him about it,” he said.

  “Come out here, we need to talk,” the man repeated. Zach gave me a helpless look, following the man out to the other room. I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to go out there and tell whoever that man was that Zach had nothing to do with this.

  I was the one who got myself into the hospital, and I should have been the one to get myself out. But, I didn’t have the strength in me to get out of bed, and I didn’t want to get involved in any of the issues Zach had to deal with in his own MC.

  All I could do was sit there and stare at the ceiling, pretending not to listen in on what was being said in the other room. Pretending just to think about the shit that I had to deal with.

  But, I knew that something big was brewing, and I was at the center of it. I had to get this shit straightened out, and soon. This wasn’t just between me and my family anymore. This now had to do with a man I cared for more than anyone else on the planet.

  Things were getting harder and harder for me to deal with, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through to the other side. All I knew was that I had to get my head on straight, and I had to do it as soon as possible.

  Whatever this man wanted, I didn’t want it to spread. I was out of my realm, in a rival territory. Sure, I was with someone who would defend me with their life, but that wasn’t enough to put my mind at ease. I had to get back in control.

  Losing control completely just wasn’t an option.

  21

  Zach

  It had been an interesting weekend, to say the least. Vanessa spent most of it lying on my couch and watching Netflix, and I spent most of it trying to convince her to eat something. I’d read through the pamphlets I’d gotten from the hospital, and I was doing my best to follow the advice that was written inside.

  But, it was still hard. It was hard knowing she had a history of starving herself nearly to death, and the fact that she was stressed off enough now to do something like that again made me feel sick. I wanted to shake her, tell her that she was worth more than what she was doing to herself.

  Hell, she should be fighting the people who were making her feel that way, not starving herself and collapsing on the driveway. But, all I could do was try to convince her to eat something. It worked from time to time.

  The first thing I did when Aaron left was to convince Vanessa to give me a list of food to get from the grocery store. I didn’t want to leave her for long, but I didn’t have a lot of food at the apartment, and I didn’t want her to have the option of not eating.

  Most of my own meals came from the diner. But, knowing what Aaron had to say to me about my father made me not want to go anywhere near the place. I could put it off for a couple days and deal with my father and anyone else on Monday. God knew I wasn’t going to get away with it for long.

  What bothered me most, however, was the fact that I didn’t know if my father would be willing to get Marcus involved. I knew he would be pissed enough as it was, and he hated having any real sort of involvement with Marcus, but what I didn’t know was if he would turn to him knowing I had the man’s daughter here.

  I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care if he did. Vanessa was a grown woman who could do what she wanted. And, I was an adult myself who could date whoever I wanted. It wasn’t either of their places anymore to tell me what they thought about who I was dating.

  Now, with the sun getting ready to rise on Monday, I knew I was going to have to tell Vanessa goodbye and face the music. I hoped she felt better enough to keep eating, at least a little. I didn’t care if she went back to three square meals per day; as long as she was getting something in her system on a regular basis, she was doing better than she had been.

  Vanessa walked out of the bathroom and slid back into bed with me. She hadn’t said much over the past couple days, and I wasn’t sure what to say to her now. I had to be to the diner early. It was going to be bad enough dealing with my father and the rest of the MC with the circumstances. I didn’t want to give my father any extra reasons to be pissed off at me.

  “Are you going to be alright?” Vanessa asked quietly. “We haven’t really talked about your friend stopping by.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I assured her quickly. “You’re the one I’m worried about.”

  She laid her head on my chest. “I’ll be alright. I’m going to get in touch with one of the rehab centers later today and enroll myself. I made it through this shit before, I can do it again.”

  “I’m just not in love with the idea of separating. I don’t know if your father knows, I don’t know why my father is going to do, and I don’t like the idea of you struggling to eat anything while this is all going on,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her to say in return, but she didn’t reply.

  She just put her arm around me and laid closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her in return, holding her close. “I’m going to leave you my truck keys so you can get home. I’ll take my bike to work, and I don’t care how long you hold onto the thing. It’ll be nice for you to have your own vehicle and not have to worry about using your roommate’s, anyway.”

  “Really?” she asked. “That really would be nice. I don’t want to be a captive audience when I get home, and I have a feeling I will be. If I can manage to find some sort of outpatient rehab program, I’m taking it. I don’t want to be stuck staying at any of the facilities again.”

  “Are you sure? I almost think that it would be better…” I let my words hang in the air, then I kissed her forehead. “Whatever you think is best. As long as you really do go through with this.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  I held her for as long as I could, trying not to think about how upset I was that time was drifting by. I didn’t want her to go, and I didn’t want to deal with work. But my alarm didn’t wait for either of us, and within a couple of hours, it was loudly blaring.

  With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed. “You can stay as long as you want, but I do have to get going.”

  “I’ll be heading out shortly, too,” she said. It felt like a punch in the stomach hearing the words, but I knew it was for the best. She had to get her own shit underway, and if I was going to deal with my father, I wanted to do it when she wasn’t in town.

  Part of me worried that he would do something to her directly. I didn’t want to think that he’d stoop to that level and that he’d take his frustration and anger out on me, but I also knew my father was unpredictable at times. It wouldn’t have been too surprising for him to get Marcus inv
olved or do something to Vanessa.

  I got ready for work and held her for as long as I could before leaving. I knew I had to be to the diner by five, and with the sun rising, it wasn’t likely to be long before she was back on the road herself. It was time for the two of us to say goodbye and see what happened next.

  As always, the diner was busy from the moment I unlocked the door. I had everything turned on and fired up, with all the ingredients ready to use. Meagan came in on time, as always, and gave me her bright smile as she tied on her apron and got ready to get to work.

  She’d be in charge of the other waitress, so I didn’t have to worry about what was going on up front. I’d just wait for the orders for biscuits and gravy to come rolling in, getting into the groove of keeping up with the customers and waiting for whoever it was who would come in and ream me a new one.

  I figured it would be my dad. He wasn’t the kind to really pass up the chance to scream at someone, that was for sure. Then again, I knew Spencer would love the opportunity to shout at me, especially in front of the customers. He hated my position in the MC, knowing that I was in line to take over just because I was related to the leader.

  On the other hand, Adam would be someone I’d suspect would be given the job, as well. My father might not want to risk me getting into a fight with Spencer. God knew I could be just as big of a dick, and we were bound to fall to blows with each other before we’d reach any real agreement.

  To my surprise, it was none of those three. Nathan had actually been the one charged with the duty of coming in to yell at me, and also to my surprise, he seemed more than happy to do it. He strode in through the back door and leaned his back against the counter, his one hand gripping the side of it so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

  “Hey,” I said. “You hungry?”

  “I’m pissed,” he said. “How the fuck could you, man?”

  “How could I what?”

  “Don’t play innocent with me. You missed the charity ride, and for what? You were with one of The Enemies? What the fuck, dude! I can’t say that loud enough!” he shouted.

  “I don’t think you could say it any louder if you tried,” I said. I felt the tension rising in my chest. I was rather disappointed that Nathan had been willing to come in here and yell at me like this. After all that he and I had been through together – after how I thought of him like family.

  I thought he looked up to me just as much, but then, I knew these men all took their vows to the MC seriously, and they were willing to turn on their own in a heartbeat if they felt that they were being betrayed. I, on the other hand, didn’t see it as a betrayal.

  Vanessa didn’t have anything against our MC. She was barely part of her own. I didn’t think of her as one of The Enemies, that was for damn sure. I thought of her as the woman I’d fallen for. True, I’d fallen for her too fast. And much too hard, for that matter. But I’d fallen for her just the same, and nothing was going to change that fact.

  I didn’t care what my father had to say about it, and I found it to be rather enlightening that someone like Nathan was so happy to turn his back on me. Hell, with how loud he was talking, the entire diner could hear what he was saying. Did he want to get me on the bad side of everyone in town?

  “You are playing with fire, Zach, you know that. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen when Marcus finds out about this?” He shook his head.

  “I’m not sure whether he knows or not,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not sure how much trouble Dad wants to get me in before this is over.”

  “He’s pissed. Livid, in fact. He doesn’t even want to talk to you, he’s so pissed off with this entire situation. You’re turning your back on your family,” Nathan said.

  “I’ve never had much in the way of family,” I shot back. I was starting to get pissed myself. He was pushing me to fight, and I didn’t want to fight with him. I wanted them all to leave me alone about this entire situation. Who I dated had nothing to do with any of them as far as I was concerned, and I was going to stand my ground.

  “Fuck you!” he spat.

  “Look, I am a grown ass man, and Vanessa is a grown ass woman. We both have the right to choose who we want to date! If we are willing to look past the fact that she and I come from two different clubs, then what is that to you or anyone else?” I shouted. By now, I didn’t care if the rest of the diner heard what I had to say, either.

  I was going to stand by Vanessa regardless of what my father thought. I was even willing to let it turn into a war if he wouldn’t let it drop. It was my right, and I wasn’t going to let my own happiness go by the wayside because of what he thought was right and wrong.

  Nathan looked at me for a moment, and then he ran his hand under his nose with a sneer. “You really surprise me, Zach, you know that?”

  “Not the first time I’ve heard that,” I replied coldly.

  “Well, I’m sure Carl is going to be thrilled to hear what you have to say about this. I know I’m sure as hell going to love telling him,” Nathan said as he pushed himself away from the counter and headed for the door.

  I couldn’t lie – it did bother me that he was going to go to my father. But that didn’t change how I felt about the situation, or the fact that I wasn’t going to back down. I had made my decision when I went to get Vanessa out of the hospital and brought her to my place.

  God knew I’d made the decision even before that. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that woman, even if it was going to cost me my place in the MC. Even if my father exiled me and we had to start life over somewhere else.

  When I thought about how she made me feel when I was with her, about her smile and the way she lit up when she saw me, I knew that this would all be worth it. It wasn’t going to be easy, and I wished things could be different, but it would still be worth it.

  This was Vanessa I was fighting for, after all.

  22

  Vanessa

  I had a feeling even before I arrived back home that the place was being watched. I had a feeling my father would be keeping an eye on my house for when I got back.

  Of course, I knew Lynne wouldn’t tell him anything. My secret was safe with her. But, that didn’t change the fact that I had to head back to my apartment sometime, and I had a sneaking suspicion my father would be right there when it happened.

  I pulled the truck into the driveway and stopped next to Lynne’s car. Before I was even out of the vehicle, I heard the bike pull up behind the truck. But, to my surprise, it was Vance who got off the back and not my father. I braced myself. I didn’t want to talk to him, and I hoped since we were past the charity ride he would have headed back to San Francisco.

  After all, that was his life now, and he and my father could have their dysfunctional relationship several hundred miles apart.

  “Where the hell have you been?” he demanded as he walked up.

  “I’m sure you can guess. If you were watching the place for me to come back, then I’m not going to buy into the idea you have no clue where I was,” I said as I crossed my arms. He crossed his as well, mirroring me.

  “I know who you’ve been with, and I’m pissed to hear it,” he said. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you want to get yourself killed?”

  “That’s a little extreme, Vance, don’t you think? Maybe you should get back down to San Francisco to your fancy little life before you get involved in things you don’t need to be involved in,” I suggested. “I’m sure you and Dad aren’t getting along as well as you’d like to act.”

  “You’d be surprised how when your sister and daughter tries to get herself killed we can put aside our differences. We both care about you, and we don’t want to see you do this to yourself again!” he snapped.

  I laughed. I knew he wasn’t trying to be funny, but it didn’t matter. The thought of him caring about me – the thought of my father caring beyond just having his desire to control me – was more than I could handle. I hadn’t felt loved
by either of them for years, and I still resented my brother for just running away like he did.

  He fell out of my life when I needed him, and I wasn’t going to act like it was all good between us now.

  “Oh please. You know you just want to keep an eye on me so I don’t do anything to inconvenience the club. Dad just doesn’t want to lose someone, and incidentally, he’s losing me because of it. I’m so sick of being the lesser child, it’s time that I remove myself from the equation, and that’s final!”

  Vance stared at me through my speech with a look of amusement on his face. He always did this when I tried to tell him something that was important to me. I knew that he thought of me as a failure, and I was done with his attitude just as much as I was done with our dad’s.

  I wanted to be treated like I mattered, and I needed them to listen to me to make that happen. But, it became clear to me that neither one of them were going to treat me that way. They were sure that I was just a fuck up. Someone who didn’t measure up and nothing more.

  And, I was sick of it.

  “That’s it. I’m not going to listen to this anymore,” he said. “You’re going to move home with Dad where you can be watched and taken care of. Neither of us is going to let you run off with a rival MC, and you certainly aren’t going to kill yourself through starvation again.”

  “Fuck you, I’m not going anywhere with either one of you!” I snapped.

  “I wasn’t asking!” Vance took a step forward, and I took a step back. I didn’t care what he had to say. I wasn’t going to go anywhere with him, that was for damn sure. I would scream if I had to.

  But, luckily for me, Lynne came bursting out of the house. She was pulling on a hoodie and wearing pajama shorts and flip flops. I got the impression she had just looked out to see the altercation I was having with my brother and chose to step in.

  “What the hell are you two doing out here?” she asked. “Vance? Since when did I say you were allowed on my property?”